LAv Life

I wish we never had to grow old where we decline physically and mentally.

Who wants to experience atrophy and dementia.  There is a key to breakthrough this

limitation, and I am determined to discover it….Not that it is the most important

thing in life, but since we are here, why not…..

Born into a family of five, simply too far apart in years, kept me longing for a playmate.  At ten years of age, a savior was born, so to speak, my nephew Sean, and I was thrilled beyond words.  He was smiley, fun, and so much joy, that I often found myself dizzy running around the house, playing hide and seek, playing chase, slamming doors, and at one time, wedging my nephew’s finger in the door hinge—ouch!  Nevertheless, he never held any grudges. Thank God, because I recall pulling his arm so hard that I dislocated his elbow—double ouch!  Have you ever forgiven me!???!

Fast forward, more playmates were introduced into my life:  four nieces and four nephews.  Pure joy, lots of laughter, fun, and games—the highlight of my years!  Then one gloomy year presented itself as three nieces and two nephews left with their families to live on the mainland.  Boo hoo, I felt so extremely sad and abandoned, that it took years before I reconciled my feelings about the events.

Yet, as I review all the images, I recognize my needs at the time, and the attachments that yielded my attention so that I may grow and learn from the experiences.   At the time, however, it felt as though, it was only happening to me, and the pain was sharp, almost unbearable at times.  I felt a deep loss of missing out…of something untouchable in words, and there was no way in recouping any of it because everyone was so far away.

Fast forward again, and I see with new eyes.  Everyone has to go where they need to be, and it has nothing to personally do with me.  I can certainly choose to make it personal and painful,  yet, I now choose to see it as it is, a part of life.   Life chooses constant motion, and if I do not choose to move with it, I become stagnant and eventually, will be left behind.  Hey, but there is hope because I woke up and caught up with all the events.  All my nieces and nephews who moved away, are only a heartbeat away, and with our outstanding technology, I can re-touch their lives, and they mine.  I am simply grateful for the opportunity to see with new eyes and to appreciate precious lives with an appetite for reconnection, mostly from heart to heart.

We often fall in love with images:  of movie stars, of a loved one, of ourselves.  We fall

in love with images of what love is or should be, but is it really true or what

we have learned through mass media, well-meaning friends and family, favorite story

lines and love songs.  These images replay itself, constantly on rewind without even

pressing the button.  So how does one stop them from invading our mind?  We must

enter into silence where nothing but the Divine can enter; we make space for

connection to the Source. These margins allow you to see with new lens and above all,

re-create what you desire in your life.  So accept hurts and move through it with faith

and love, both of which will assist you in looking up to God which definitely resides

within you.  ”I am that I am” means “that which is”.  Investigate it…

Not a new challenge, but one that is often glanced over only to resurface in some aspect of  your life.  I thought of myself as one who easily moved with the flow, but this past year has taught me otherwise. Change while ubiquitous in nature snuck up on me in unsuspecting forms.

Friendships you once believed were deep and impenetrable can become scarred by a simple misunderstanding.  Oh darn, what ever happened to friends allow friends to express their true feelings.

In the scheme of motherhood, you know in your heart there will be changes, but you never are quite ready for the big changes.  No matter how life pushes forward, sons and daughters do grow up and leave to pursue their own lives.

As a daughter, you realize your parents will grow old and pass away, but are you ever ready to change their diapers and watch them forget who you are all the while you spend almost every waking moment caring for them.

Embrace change or it can consume every ounce of your being, leaving you devastated, stagnant, and isolated.  Nature shows you how to do it: a flower blooms and withers yet its essence continues in the cycle of life to renew the earth. Thus, we learn to look up for the gift in every unexpected change that occurs in our lives.  The old friendship may be scarred, perhaps serving only as a past memory, but the gift is in your renewal and growth.  Children leave their parents, only to return with fueled passions and new experiences which add to the greater whole of life.  And even in the face of death, the gift of life stares us right back with the truth that while the body dies, the spirit lives on through eternity.

At the end of each day, I recognize the gifts and know the truth, change lives through me as I embrace it with the arms of love.  In its embrace, change loses its consuming grip, and simply exhales into the next breath of life.